


The Promise

by fffan201



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Creamcakes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, M/M, Promise, Truth, barlliams, lifechanging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2020-06-30 07:31:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19848460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fffan201/pseuds/fffan201
Summary: This little story is about a promise that Gary and Robbie make to each other after their big conversation, which isn't really intended for the public. A promise that had to be fulfilled at some point and thus will have far-reaching consequences.Actually, this fanfiction was planned as a OneShot, but then I thought that I would make at least a two-piece out of it.Inspired by the following songs by Robbie: The Promise, Into The Silence, Reality Killed The Video Star & Different. Likewise, through an interview in which Robbie couldn't and wasn't allowed to say anything about the true Story of Different.





	1. Only a fool wouldn't fall in love with you…

_There’ll be no Christmas anymore_  
_No tiny footsteps a tour door_  
_I hope their memories don’t fade_  
_Just like the promise we made_

Not a day went by when Gary did not think back to a time when he had lost a large part of his life within a few days. He had always hoped that it would never happen, and yet he was once again hit by a very harsh reality. A fate that been would have happened sooner or later anyway. But Gary wondered why HE had to be the one who was bound by a long-standing promise and, by complying, because of the consequences, from now on to lead a life full of guilt. After all, he had to lose much more to another and a certain person than his actual life. And after he had fulfilled this one promise with a heavy heart less than a month ago, much had happened during that time and nothing was as it once was. So Gary was sitting alone at home - with his mother in Frodsham and staring into a world that had nothing left for him.

Everything he had built up in his life was literally burned down to the foundations by a gigantic purgatory. The only thing he had left was his mother, the family around his brother Ian and only a few loyal friends he could count on one hand. Okay, that some friendships fall victim to the fire, he had somehow already been aware. But he never really wanted his marriage to fall apart. Gary always thought that his long-term relationship with Dawn was strong enough to defy even the hour of absolute truth. But that was not the case. For just before Dawn had finally separated from him, she had told him that she could live with a lie, but not with a truth that the whole world now knew. So if this damn promise hadn't been and he continued to live with a lie, Gary would now only have to contend with a loss. ... And so he remembered how that promise came about.

**Flashback**

After a clarifying and long overdue conversation with his former bandmate Robbie Williams - in which they sincerely apologized for their behavior to the other counterpart, he fell more than relieved around the bigger one's neck. At last, this feud between them had come to an end. All the pain Robbie had inflicted on him was forgotten, and so a centimeter-heavy load dissolved into the air. He was free and it just felt too good. In addition to Robbie's body, this snuggled with his own, Gary felt his heartbeat - which beat in the same rhythm as his own. While the two formed a unity and thus formed a deep connection, an old and more than familiar feeling arose in him that he had not felt so for many years. The last time they lay in their arms was in 1997 at a benefit concert.

God. How much did Gary regret that he had never really given Robbie a real chance to prove his talents. That the younger one had at least as much talent as himself. Because then many things would certainly have been different. His solo career would probably never have flopped and he wouldn't have had to endure years of ridicule. Who knows, they could have been best friends to this day. Yes, maybe they would have done something in common and recorded and released one or the other song. Unfortunately, it never happened. But basically, and if Gary was honest with himself, his mind told him that he had somehow needed this very difficult time. Gary had to experience the hard way that he was not a god. The deep fall from the sky of pop music down to the lowest basement that ever existed. A crash that couldn't be more painful. ...A crash that had brought him endless tears and sleepless nights.

At one point Robbie pulled Gary's body even closer to him and making it clear to him that he didn't want to let go of him anymore. So Gary quickly got the feeling that there was something else that Robbie wanted to free himself from. Something, that apparently had to lie on his soul for quite a long time, which was then confirmed by Robbie himself.

"There ...there is still something I have to tell you and I hope you ...you don't get it wrong now. Because...what I'm telling you now, I mean 100 percent serious." Robbie finally whispered, after he managed to jump over his own shadow, in a small voice.

After this confirmation and announcement, Gary once swallowed. What came next? Did Robbie have to …? But before he could continue this one thought, Robbie finally broke away from her hug - to look into Gary's eyes and then dropped the proverbial bombshell. A long-kept secret of what no one knew.

"I love you!"

Before Gary knew and he could think about Robbie's serious words - as well as the possible intentions from it - the younger man pressed a kiss on his right cheek for an eternity. As a result, Gary fell into a darkness, where a bright light could be seen at the other end, and was instantly overwhelmed by a feeling he had never felt in his entire life. It was somehow a mixture of embarrassment, fear, longing, fulfillment and shame at the same time. All this was reinforced even further when Robbie's right hand suddenly reached for his own and his fingers searched for and found their place between his own. Out of reflex and because Robbie's hand felt so very gentle, Gary answered him, and while his heart was beating to his neck, he closed his eyes and somehow tried to give meaning to this situation. But it wasn't that easy. Because Robbie's lips have now found its weak point and really killed him. In Gary, for example, a deep-seated longing was stirred up, which he had always been afraid of and which he had so far largely been able to ignore with success. But now that Robbie was very close to him and he felt his sensual lips on his lust point, Gary couldn't do that anymore. He was Robbie completely dilapidated.

"Can you remember the night we kissed?" Robbie finally whispered quietly, awakening a memory in Gary that he had run away from for years, and how he simply didn't want to see the resulting feelings for the younger one. 

Feelings that since have been found even in the lyrics of his songs. Even if the memory of that night was only fragmentary, he still smelled the far too much alcohol that had played an important role in this and if he had not been drunk at that time, then it would certainly not have happened to this kiss. Although ...the way he thought about it now, he wasn't be so sure. In spite of everything, it could have happened very well without the influence of alcohol. Because if he was honest with himself, he had to admit that he had always felt something for Robbie deep in his heart. But he never did. But with Robbie's confession that he had deep feelings for him, Gary became aware of why he had felt so empty in recent years. It was not only because of what happened, but also because Robbie had meant much more to him than he was allowed to. So yes, deep in his heart he feels the same thing Robbie felt for him. A love never thought to the end and pronounced to this day. Because if he did it that wouldn't be fair to a certain person in his life. As soon as he would utter these three small and more than world-important words to Robbie, it seemed like an affair. Moreover, Dawn would not understand and accept it if he suddenly entered into a relationship with another person - who was also a man.

While his heart still slapped him to the neck and he longed for Robbie's lips on his own, his mind suddenly turned on. He told him that he could not allow it here. That it wasn't right. 

"Rob. ...Not. ...Stop it. Please."

But Robbie didn't listen to him and made it difficult for Gary to get involved in his mind. That he should ignore the voice in his head and listen more to his heart. He could and wanted to allow Gary to listen to the voice of reason. But his desire to be as close to him as possible was far too great. After all this long time he wanted to feel him again ...and taste. To get Gary to that point so he could fully indulge him, he shamelessly exploited Gary's weak point. Since he was not available for alcohol this time, which was the only way to make him docile. To remind him of a night when they were very close and changed everything.  
But after Gary tried to stop him from doing so, Robbie could still hear from his trembling voice - how he struggled with himself and he was about to lose this fight between what was right and what was wrong. So that he didn't know how to deal with this whole situation. When Robbie finally increased the intensity of his activity shortly afterwards and he heard a quiet groan from his friend, he thought he had almost broken Gary's mind. 

In order to be able to break Gary for good, he let go of his pleasure point and then drove his lips more than gently and exceedingly slowly over the skin until he finally stopped just before Gary's corner of his mouth. Before he took the last jump, Robbie took another deep breath and then took a very light touch with Gary's lips. After exhaling the previously inhaled air into Gary's minimally opened mouth, the elder actually threw all reason overboard shortly afterwards, overcoming the final hurdle. Finally two few lips, which gently snuggled together, found themselves in a kiss. ...There it was - the long-awaited, familiar and sweet taste of a forbidden fruit.

While the two entered into a deep connection and made their souls one, the world around them ceased to exist. Some of her hearts filled - in which until recently a dark emptiness was ruled, again with life and also with a sometimes forgotten love. Even though Gary and Robbie only let their lips play, both felt it was a gigantic fireworks display. Moreover, since it happened without the influence of alcohol, this gentle kiss was even more overwhelming than it was then. It was just indescribable.

But at some point Robbie couldn't control out of himself and gave Gary a little wink with his tongue that he wanted more. To which Gary promptly gave him an answer by confiscated Robbie's tongue with a wet warm "hug". The ensuing tongue kiss, which was more than wanted by both, triggered a lust, especially with Robbie, which he had not even felt at their first kiss. So his desire - to feel Gary completely, rose to the immeasurable and caused the younger to groan once. To stoke his lust, Robbie took a short breather and let go of Gary's lips for a moment. 

"I love you so much Gary. I ...I want you so badly." Robbie whispered breathlessly, once again confessing to Gary his love, which he had never felt for anyone like now.  
"Rob. I ...I..." Gary finally stuttered shortly afterwards, but before he could say anything that Robbie didn't want to hear, the younger man quickly pressed his lips back on his own. 

So the two sank again in an electrifying and hypnotic kiss, to which led one by one. A gentle touch here, a gentle touch there and already the limit was crossed. But they had this with the kiss long ago behind them. But what followed, they broke any decency - which both were inherent in. A border that was also better known than the belt line.


	2. I remember what you says in that hotel room

After a long and fateful night full of ecstasy, Robbie woke up the next morning with Gary in his arms, looking dreamily at the person he really loved about everything. Somehow the last few hours felt like a dream to him, and yet it corresponded to a reality that he had always secretly wanted. Fall asleep with Gary in his arms and wake up the next morning. For, to his regret and deepest disappointment, Gary had not done him that last favor on that night when everything had changed. The fact that he was still here but had nothing much to say, after all, he was the first of the two to wake up. ... And even if it were the other way around, Robbie would have noticed an escape from Gary this time. Just because of his grip, from which the smaller man could not free himself unnoticed.

While behind him the sun – through the slits of the blinds – slowly lit up the room in warm colors, Robbie enjoyed this heavenly moment of calm and hoped that his old and new little friend could hold in his arms for as long as possible. So he closed his eyes and enjoyed being one with his Gary. It was like a feeling of happiness that should never end. But with every second that passed and the elder threatened to wake up, a growing unrest began in him - a restlessness that was also called fear. Yes. Robbie feared the moment that Gary immediately ruined their re-established friendship, regretting their shared last night and wanting to forget as soon as possible. What he would then most likely disappear from again and thus remained unattainable for him for all eternity. And that was something Robbie didn't want at all. He needed Gary in his life. Even though he was now away from most drugs and thus no longer felt an addiction to chase any deadly substances into himself, there was still one that determined his whole life. Since he had weaned himself off coke, he felt the addiction to this one drug all the more. It was something better known than the power of love. The love for Gary. 

At some point after a felt eternity, Robbie finally heard a quiet yawn, followed by a relieved inhalation and exhalation. Robbie didn't know why, but somehow he thought it was a good sign, cuddling up a little closer to Gary and whispering a "Good morning." Gary then turned a little more into Robbie's embrace, looking for his best friend's very talent lips with his eyes slightly open and giving him a little kiss.

Robbie really didn't expect that now. That Gary continued to offer himself as a forbidden fruit this morning. If he didn't know better now, it could easily be a consequence of his drug addiction and thus a hallucination. But that was not the case. It was real. He was actually lying here with Gary in his arms and let himself be taken away from him in paradise. But perhaps Gary did so just because he was still love-drunk from last night, that he was no longer the master of his five senses. Sometimes it was easier to give in to something than to fight against it. Instead of thinking more about what made Gary surprise him that morning, Robbie gave a relieved sigh of relief and enjoyed the here and now.

But at one point Gary dropped Robbie's lips and quietly talked about wanting to be let go to the toilet. Instead of letting Gary go, Robbie pulled him more and didn't want to give him back anytime quickly. He even didn't care if the hotel was now in a state of emergency and a fire alarm forced them to leave the building. Letting Gary go now would be a betrayal of himself for him. He just didn't want their bubble to dissolve into air and stop to exist. It was definitely something Robbie didn't want. After all, such a visit to the bathroom could often prove to be a mistake. In that case, Robbie feared that Gary would again be the master of his five senses, questioning their last night - a night that should never have happened. 

"But I don't want you to go."  
"Please, Rob. I really need more than urgent. You can't deny a man the walk to the toilet."  
"If you are, you are," Robbie muttered softly, and Gary then reluctantly left."   
"I'll come back, I've promised."

As soon as Gary got out of bed, Robbie looked at a very attractive and bare butt - which cheekily put a small smile on his face. The memory of the last night would stay with him forever. Although they had not had sex, they had gone through every other practice and had thus provided for an unforgettable and more than hot night. So Robbie fervently hoped that Gary had not burned himself by the flames of this fire and was now running away in pain in front of him. 

After a felt eternity, an almost fully dressed Gary finally stepped out of the bathroom and spoke by the way about them continuing their conversation yesterday. But the moment he saw his friend in a vegetative state, with a thick tear creeping over his cheek, Gary rushed to Robbie's side. So he sat down with him on the bedside, put a hand on Robbie's shoulder and finally carefully asked what was going on with him. But to which he only got a sobbing in response. 

"Hey. Now come on, Rob. Whatever you have, please talk to me. If you really love me, then let me know what is oppressing you. Whatever your problem, I'll help you to find a solution."  
"You ...you can't!" Robbie sobbed softly.  
"How do you want to know?"  
"Because you would never leave Dawn for me!"  
"I beg you, Rob. Don't make it even more complicated than it already is. You know that what we have done here is not fair to our partners. I mean, don't you have any bites of conscience towards your girlfriend Ayda?"  
"No. Why should I, if I have separated from her?"  
"You put an end to it? Why that? As you described it to me, she seems to me to be the perfect woman for you. Believe me, you won't find any better than her."

When asked why Robbie had separated from his girlfriend, Gary only heard a silence. But when he noticed that Robbie turned his gaze away and he could no longer look him in the eyes, Gary felt that it was simply not allowed to be true. Robbie didn't have...?

"Oh. ... Please tell me that this is not true, that I'm wrong. You ...you didn't really break-up with her because of me?" 

As almost expected, Robbie did not answer this either and was only told by his body language that Gary should be right.

The singer had to cope with this first. What did Robbie promise himself? Had he seriously thought that Gary would reward his sacrifice with a separation from Dawn? No. Even though he had felt like he was in seventh heaven last night, Robbie couldn't possibly ask him to do that. He loved his wife. Marriage to the wife of his life was the best thing that could ever happen to him. It had helped him get over certain things and now he felt that this safe carpet had been pulled from him under his feet. Robbie had once again managed to have him plunged into a deep hole. But this time it was a hole in which he felt more than torn apart. He didn't want to hurt Dawn at all, and he didn't want to give up his new friendship with Robbie.  
The master of complications was back in his life.

As the chaos hovered over their heads, an icy cloak called Silence spread over them, sometimes making them silent. The air between the friends was tense to the extreme and it could be cut in half with a blunt knife. At least until Gary uttered his thoughts aloud at some point.

"Why are you doing this to me, Rob?"  
"Because you should know what I feel for you." Gary finally heard a whisper after a felt eternity, "That ...that I... I need you in my life."  
"Rob. You ...you're just talking something to yourself. You..."  
"No. You don't know how much I really need you. If I compared my life to a candle, you would be my place!"  
"And what part of it are you? The flame? Now listen to me Rob. Whatever you imagined, it won't work. If you ask me, your candle is a joke. As soon as you light it, it goes out again. ...That with both of us can't go well."  
"How do you want to know? You never really gave us both a chance. You're the one who ran away first. How can you then just say that this cannot go well with both of us?"   
"Because it will be. You and me ...we... we are too different. It can never work, even if I felt the same for you as you did for me." Gary spoke of the bitterness and caught himself saying not quite the truth.

He loved Robbie, but he could never seriously put the three little words he had with him over his lips. For as soon as he spoke them out and meant it that way, it would be like an affair for him, and he could not and would not do to Dawn. He could still split in two halves, but not three. He lacked the strength to do so. Apart from that, if he fully engages with Robbie and then it would come out at some point that he cheats on his wife with a man, he would once again be the bogeyman of the nation. He would be even more than that for this offence. Even if we all lived in the 21st century, Gary would most likely find zero of acceptance with this behavior among his fellow human beings. So for him it meant he had to forget Robbie. It would be best for everyone, even if the entertainer hated him forever. That was something Gary didn't want. He just didn't know what to do to at least satisfy everyone involved. 

So Gary sat on the bed with his head hanging and completely desperate. Why did it always have to be Robbie who turned his world upside down? While everything revolved around him and he didn't know where was up and down, the absolute helplessness whispered out of him at some point. 

"Why are you doing this to me? Why ...why... why do you always have to take me..." 

But he couldn't go any further. On the one hand, he could not put his momentary feelings and thoughts into words, and on the other hand, there were suddenly two hot kissing lips – which literally raped his pleasure point, which also prevented him from doing so. God, Robbie was really a master at getting him ready in all the arts. Either with words or, as now, with his deeds but no matter how he tried to evade it and that Robbie finally stopped making him weak, Gary couldn't resist Robbie's appeal. 

"Rob. ...Sto-Stop it. Please. ...You know that ...that's not fair."

While Gary spoke with a quiet and weak voice that what Robbie was doing wasn't right, he turned his head - with every rescheduled kiss, a little more to the younger one. When the opportunity was there, Robbie immediately let go of Gary's pleasure point and easily put his lips on his opponent's.

But before there was a more than intimate kiss, Robbie whispered quietly to the previous question why he had "shot" at Gary so much: "Because I really love you more than anything Gary Barlow ... and please do not tell me that you do not feel anything for me. I know that is not true. ...I can see it in your eyes that you love me too. ...You said yesterday that we should be honest with each other. So why are you lying about your feelings towards me?"

Knowing that Robbie was right and he owed him the truth, Gary lowered his head shortly afterwards, and while a thick tear rolled over his cheek, he struggled to explain himself with a brittle and a soft voice.

"Because I just can't reply it. I mean ...I can never seriously put the three little words in it over my lips. Because as soon as I do it I will feel like I'm letting Dawn ...my family down. You may not have too much to lose now, but I do. You know, my family is more important to me than anything else and I don't want to and can't lose it. I doubt they would understand if they knew I had feelings for you. Just because of what was between us. ...To be honest, I just want to be in my wife's arms right now, but ...I don't want to run away from my feelings towards you anymore. If I hadn't …and I...," While Gary spoke so desperately and he lost himself more and more, Robbie pulled the little one into a warm and comforting embrace. Gary should feel that he was there for him and had his full support from now on.

Even though Robbie was still struggling with his own demons and wanted Gary to be more than anything else, he had to painfully admit that he had no choice but to let go of his little friend. Robbie couldn't ask for what he wanted from him. Leaving a family that has existed and has been founded for years would be tantamount to acting an asshole. ...And Gary wasn't like that - he was far too decent for that.


End file.
